I am here... Alone and lonely... I've been staying here jn Tenom for almost three years... Live at some places here and there... From the first time i am here... I was alone.. Lone ranger walked to this small town and now still and still as a lone ranger... From single until being a wife to someone... Still im here... The loneliness was much much immune to myself...
But honestly...deep inside my heart... Im so sad for being like this... Knowing someone who now i called as my husband... He doesn't really care about my welfare here... Not saying i am bad-mouthing him yet that was really happened to me... But no worries... He is what he is.. Nobody can change him and i accept him as what he is...
Looking back to what i had inside... Im such a loner... Feel funny sometimes with my situations... But yes, it is true.. What again i can do now??
They said... I should ask for school transfer... Follow my husband.... Yet i don't know.. Should i? Or shouldn't i? I just tried it for luck when suddenly i was in my bad health last april.. Applied the transfer through "egtukar" and the result was bad.. Unsuccessful. Sad and so sad... Once again... They said try again next september... Here we go... It had already opened for application... Well, i will never let opportunity goes like that.. Will grab it and try my luck once again... This time, i will apply to go back to my hometown... It's only because i don't like to stay at my FIL's house in Penampang... It's not bad actually but i've been thinking of managing my own house and stay closer to my parents coz nobody is looking after them now..
As fyi, i've been staying with my FIL's so long ago and sometimes i felt im so "anak derhaka" coz i often go back to kampung... Erm...
This time i guess things will change... Im missing my parents so much and im more comfortable if staying with them for a long period instead of with my FIL... Hehe.. Actually mau beli rumah but will see.. Not a gud timing rite now and still looking for the best place to stay...
Well... Hopefully this loneliness will end soon... Just do what i want now and be happy... Be grateful for what i have...
Thats all for today... Im sleepy.. Nite everyone.. Hehe
1 comment:
hi indut,
it's reality.. :) we always don't feel like want to go back home to meet our parents when we are single but otherwise when we had married! so do I, my sisters and most of the girls outside. that's 1 of the reason til now i'm stil staying in my parent's house and hoping to get a job just near by here. but there's neative side of course, the kids seldom in touch with their own dad.
wiskies
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