Worried...

Frankly speaking... This few days i really cant sleep..i dont know what to say but there are so many things running in my head now.. Im going to be crazy...huhu...

Thinking deep bout our relationship making me mess..im very stressful.. Oh God... Please help me.. Im worry that im not going to be happy after this.. Why??? I dont know why... Ya, i've been in many kind of relationship before this.. And im trully frustrated to what had happened to myself... To believe a person call 'man' is really hard for me to do..i do believe in LOVE..yet, i dont think so i am ready for this stage...

What should i do? Im so messed up... This relationship was never started or begins with love.. But i decided and committed to this when i realized that i have to forget about my past.. This is totally my fault...

Yesterday i confessed to my mum that i was worried bout our relationship.. And she asked me why? What he did wrongs? Nothing actually i said but it was me who thinks so many things going to be happen in the future.. And she adviced me to pray.. Pray to God for His wisdom and strength.. God will definitely shows me the way she said again..try to comfort me...ya..i should do that..

Until this stage, i shouldnt think it as a game anymore.. I need to be serious bout this..dont try to fool everybody.. Huhu...but i am definitely not playing... I am serious..serious and committed with our relationship..but what the h*** that im so stressful...

I will and will keep on praying...hopes everything will be fine...im counting days as well.. But he seems no actions towards it.. And im so confuse...what is actually happening to us... Sssuh..ssuhh.. All the negatives! i want to be postive k.. I wish and wish...there is nothing bad things going to be happen again...no! Never.. Crossing finger!